


Tired

by analester



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Depressing Thoughts, Low Self-Esteem, M/M, negative, non-happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-07-29 03:40:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7668709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/analester/pseuds/analester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>phil was tired of being phil, and he makes the decision to start a new chapter in his life</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tired

Dan’s head is buried in Phil’s chest, his fingers gripping onto the older man’s shirt, letting the tears fall down his face freely.

“I-I don’t want you to go,” Dan mumbles into Phil’s shirt. Phil’s arms were staying numbly by his sides. He didn’t even have the heart to properly embrace Dan. Dan looks up to see Phil’s lips pressed thinly in a line and he knows it’s over. Phil’s already made his decision. He wants to move on.

“I know you don’t, Dan, but I can’t just stay here with no purpose in life. I need to do something. I think it’s better if we just separate for a bit,” Phil isn’t looking Dan in the eye. He knows if he does, he’ll change his mind and stay with Dan. But Dan doesn’t understand him. He doesn’t understand that Phil’s _tired._ He’s tired of being the one that’s less appreciated. He’s tired of feeling hopeless standing next to Dan. He’s tired of being Phil.

“You do have a purpose in life! I need you, Phil,” Dan shouts, his face red as he gets out what he has to say, his voice falling to a whisper, “You’ve helped me so much. Please don’t leave me.”

Phil didn’t think he had any other choice. It was obvious that Dan was better off without him. Dan didn’t need him anymore. If Phil was in his shoes, he was sure that he would be tired of Phil. This is the reason why Phil needed to move. These thoughts were constantly nagging in his brain, refusing to shut up whenever he tries to sleep. Phil wakes up with dark circles under his eyes every morning, getting worse as the demons do. They all say Dan is better than him. Phil was nothing. Phil was worthless.

“No, you don’t, Dan, and you know it. Please, just admit that I’m worthless,” Phil looks down at Dan with a stern look. He wasn’t going to cry, his tears were all gone. There was nothing but hate and anger left in him. Hate for himself as he makes the decision that kills him slowly inside. Anger that Dan won’t let him go. Anger and hate all for Phil because he can’t even move out properly. There was a brown haired angel keeping him from doing it, and he was sick and tired of letting it happen again, and again, and again.

“You. Are. Not. Worthless! God, Phil, do I have to spell it out for you? Without you, I wouldn’t be here in this flat, being the happiest that I’ve ever been. Without you, I wouldn’t even have a career in Youtube. Without you, I would be a miserable lawyer who keeps their problems bottled up with no one to talk to. You mean so much to me, Phil, and I don’t want us to stop here,” Dan is sniffling now. He laces his fingers into Phil’s, squeezing it with reassurance. Now it was Phil’s turn to cry.

“Thank you, Dan. Thank you for being the best person I have ever met. Thank you for staying by my side through all of these years. But you’re doing so well. You don’t need me anymore. It’s time to start a new chapter of our lives,” Phil smiles and lets go of Dan’s hands.

Dan doesn’t even process the door closing and the dead silence in the flat.

Dan was alone.

And Phil was free.


End file.
